For those of you who voted early, for those of you who are voting tomorrow, for those of you who will stand in line for four hours just to spite Rick Scott, let us take a moment to bite our nails together.
First and foremost, before you read the rest of this post, you voted, YES? If you didn’t, are you armed with a cheat sheet for all your down-ticket choices, and propositions and ballot measures and what not? (Californians, I’ll just reiterate that if you want to know our humble opinions on the nonsense that are ballot measures, just email me…)
Anyway, I digress. Go do that first. Stop looking at blogs, stop checking the Gallup polls. The only thing you’re allowed to check is your polling location. Go get yourself ready. Those of you who have voted, you may continue reading.
If it’s any consolation–and it should be– Nate Silver has Obama’s chances of winning at a very healthy 92.2%. Will he take Ohio? Probably. Will he get Colorado? Possibly. Will he win Virginia? Yes, he just might. I’m even holding out hope for Florida –though not much, given the swath of newspaper endorsements for Romney– if only because I’d love to see it thrown in Rick Scott’s face.
In early voting, Obama holds a key lead already, and I can only hope that this is a result of a superior ground game.
But the fact is, this election has, pure and simple, exhausted me. I am seriously considering running for Congress myself with the sole purpose of introducing legislation designed to limit presidential campaign duration to two weeks and campaign spending to $30. Anyone with me?
In the mean time, I thought it might be fun to take a little trip down memory lane with some of Mitt’s greatest hits. Point is, folks, Romney is at heart, a snotty jackass and a creep. It comes out in little ways, but it’s there, the incivility, the insulting jokes that only he thinks are funny, the barely veiled condescension, the say-anything do-anything, lie your way out of a tight spot bully. You know this guy…and you think he’s a jerk.
Mitt tells Daniel Simmons at the Iowa County Fair: “Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People’s pockets. Human beings, my friend.”
In a debate with Gov. Rick Perry, Romney offered Perry a $10,000 bet during an argument over health care.
”I like being able to fire people who provide services to me. You know, if someone doesn’t give me a good service that I need, I want to say, ‘I’m going to go get someone else to provide that service to me.’”
In an attempt to show he’s just one of the NASCAR lovin’, red-blooded Americans, when asked if he follows NASCAR, Mitt says: “Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans, but I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners.”
And then there is the mystifying: “I love this state. The trees are the right height.”
“We have a president, who I think is is a nice guy, but he spent too much time at Harvard, perhaps,” says the man with two degrees from Harvard, versus Obama’s one. And since when was an education a disqualification for becoming president?
Jerk alert: “I’m not sure about these cookies. They don’t look like you made them. No, no. They came from the local 7/11 bakery, or whatever.”
No list would be complete without the infamous: “There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That, that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what … These are people who pay no income tax.” This wasn’t released until September of course….
Man has a mind like a steel trap …(full of dead mice). Here’s a gem of decisiveness: “I’m not familiar precisely with exactly what I said, but I stand by what I said. Whatever it was.”
On a tour apparently designed to sever ties with any of our allies, Mitt attempts to alienate Great Britain by criticizing the London Olympics before they happen: “It’s hard to know just how well (the 2012 London Olympics) will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting. The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials, that obviously is not something which is encouraging.”
An announcing the arrival onstage of his running mate: “Join me in welcoming the next president of the United States, Paul Ryan.”
In Commerce, MI, Mitt unearths the birther crap again, implying Obama isn’t American with this snide remark: “No one’s ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised.”
Mitt defines what he believes to be middle class, hitting a mark most Americans only dream of getting to: “Middle income is $200,000 to $250,000 and less.”
Clint Eastwood steals the show at the Republican National Convention by speaking to an empty chair.